I love my job and in so many ways, I believe that working for the ARH Foundation has saved me. In my job as a Fundraiser, it’s always exciting and every day is a new adventure. Every day I get requests for community support, flood relief, patient assistance, or employee emergency assistance—and knowing that my coming to work to raise money for individuals helps me. Being able to support those who have desperate needs helps me to forget my own problems and get up out of bed. Somedays it is difficult–this month is very difficult in fact—and I know the next few months will be even harder.

My husband was in the ICU when I started at ARH a little over one year ago and he never came home. I know this is a story that many of you all have probably also lived. From now until December 29th when he passed away, there are daily triggers. It’s hard not to just curl up in my bed and hide from my feelings. Somedays, I struggle to face the world, but knowing others need me and benefit from the work that I do makes it easier. I also know that Michael would want me to live, laugh, and enjoy my life and reflecting on that helps too.

Fortunately, this week has been a busy one which has made it easier to keep my mind from drifting too deeply into a dark place. However, being busy also makes managing my diet difficult—something that I’m also sure many of you can relate to as well.

On Saturday Morning, I got up early and hit the road for a 5-hour drive to White Sulfur Springs, WV. I spent the weekend at the Greenbrier Resort for the annual ARH Foundation Golf Classic. This year the event hosted 178 golfers and raised approximately $105,000.00 to support the many efforts of the Foundation. I packed my car with my favorite diet soda, flavored water, protein bars, and hit the road.

If you have not been to the Greenbrier, as I had not prior to working at ARH, it is certainly a bucket list location. Beautiful does not begin to describe the acres of grounds, accommodations, shops, and restaurants. At the same time, temptation does not seem an adequate description of the many food offerings! Everywhere you turn there are delectable options.

My first night there I was treated to dinner and drinks by our wonderful partners at Steptoe and Johnson in the Prime 44 restaurant. Oh, the decisions! So many tasty drinks, appetizers, dinner, and dessert options. I was very proud of my choices at this meal and at many others over the three-day event. However, I did succumb to room service on my last night with a sinfully wonderful cheeseburger, onion rings, and delicious Limestone Farms bourbon. Not my proudest moment, but so much better than the choices I would have made in the past.

Once home, I was tired and discovered I had a sinus infection. For those of you who don’t have diabetes, you may not know that infection of any kind messes with your blood glucose levels. So, making healthy choices for the rest of the week was imperative (as always, but you get what I mean). If you have read my previous blog, you know how I’ve been struggling with my most recent lab results. I’m working to grasp that one set of results (that weren’t critical) does not mean I have kidney disease—and this is something I struggle with because I’ve seen the worst-case scenario and it’s a major fear of mine. I’m also working to accept that even if I do, it doesn’t mean I will go down the same path that my husband did. There are many factors that could make the numbers less than optimal and repeating the tests at a later date will give a more accurate representation of how my kidneys are functioning. So, for now I will just make a few more positive changes. Less protein, less processed foods, watching my phosphorus and sodium levels, and making sure I drink plenty of water should help my kidney function improve. I’m desperately trying to focus on what I can control and to let go of what I cannot. Diet, we can all control.

As promised, I did my weekly weighing in today and stressed the whole way to Dr. Yost’s office. Last week I was wearing a dress, this week blue jeans which are so much heavier. I was so worried I wouldn’t show any weight loss at all. Then it hit me. It doesn’t matter if I don’t lose weight this week. What matters is that I make changes daily and the weight will follow. I had to laugh at my being so concerned about the weight of my clothing. I’m also learning that the number of the scale doesn’t always reflect progress—I think we can all agree that making better choices is a huge sign of progress.

So, with a deep breath I stepped on the scale and saw that I lost slightly over 1 pound. Not a huge victory, but a victory for certain!

Today was a better day. I know there will be ups and downs, as well as losses and gains. However, I will continue to work toward living well.

Thank you for joining me on this journey and for your support! Please share your victories and concerns with me via email at livingwell@arh.org, we are all on this journey together.